The other night, Mrs. FWL commented, “Weekends used to be for recharging for the next week, but it’s almost the reverse now.” Bingo! I had been thinking about this recently, and couldn’t quite put my finger on it, but she summed it up in one sentence (as she frequently does).
Before Kids:
Weekends were used to sleep, relax, take care of life admin, and unwind from the week before – aka recharge for the next week. Granted, some folks work on the weekends, so this doesn’t really apply to them, but we are fortunate to have weekends “off”. Want to take a nap? The couch is waiting! Go the beach? Sure! Dinner and a movie? No problem. Is the DVR full of shows from the week? Grab some popcorn and settle in for a Saturday binge-fest!
Going to bed late on Friday was mitigated by sleeping later on Saturday. Breakfast was casual and calm. The paper could be read and our coffee sipped. Time wasn’t an issue, because it was just the two of us. If necessary, Mrs. FWL could take a few hours and grade essays, while I watched a random some soccer game on TV.
Trips to the mall were unstructured, often revolving around a meal, and could be taken slowly. Grocery store outings were purely out of necessity, and done as quickly as possible. Unless it was Costco, in which case every aisle must be visited…for some reason.
In short, the weekends allowed us to slow down, avoid the stress of freeway driving, be a little more spontaneous, and recharge for the next week.
After Kids:
If you’re lucky like we are, your kid sleeps through the night. And if you’re really fortunate (like we were for a period of time), your kid allows you to get up later than you do during the week. But lately, Saturday might as well be Wednesday – the only (big) difference being that we’re in charge on Saturday. It’s on us to make sure our toddler is kept busy (read: distracted), avoid meltdown triggers and minimize the chrining.
Breakfast isn’t so leisurely, the paper is skimmed, coffee is gulped so it doesn’t get cold, and soccer hasn’t been watched in a LONG time. But, I can sing Wheels on the Bus like a boss, and I’m slowly learning the names of the furry creatures from Sesame Street.
Going to Trader Joe’s is just as much about shopping for food as it is a hour that we don’t have to figure out something random to do at the house. A trip to Target or the mall is one step closer to a daily milestone (ie. lunch, nap, bath, dinner, bed), that doesn’t require pushing a swing for 30 minutes or sitting on the driveway covered in chalk.
Structuring weekends is just as much about keeping parents sane as it is keeping our children from turning into monsters by 4pm (with 3 hours left until bed). Why do you think parents enjoy playdates and birthday parties? It keeps them sane. Don’t get me wrong, I want my kid to interact and have fun with other tyrants. but as much as I enjoy scribbling with toddlers, making sticker murals, and eating cupcakes, I enjoy being able to lose track of my kid for a few minutes, and remain fairly confident nothing catastrophic will happen to her.
So, non-parents, unless a parent gives you a version of the above in response to, “How was your weekend?”, they are almost definitely lying to you.
More “Before & After Kids” – See how kids change your photo stream!
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