Buying a car ranks in the top 5 (maybe even top 3) most frustrating, complicated, and arduous activities known to mankind. Not only do you have to figure out what you want/need, but then you have to crunch endless numbers, arrange financing, test drive, listen to chatty (and sometimes pushy) salespeople, go home, think about it, go somewhere else, think about it some more, finally make a decision, and then endure another 2 hours of paperwork. And that’s without kids. Add kids into the mix and it makes this nightmare, even more nightmarish.
Before Kids:
The car buying process still sucks, but you’re not handcuffed by the needs of a needy, whiny, tired, hungry, thing, capable of transforming into the devil at a moment’s notice. You can take your time at the dealer, sit through their blabber, ask lots of questions, visit more than one dealer in a day, and enjoy the paperwork process (as much as that is possible) because YOU JUST GOT A NEW CAR!
If you’re single, the world is your oyster. You can get any car you want (within your budget, of course) and really only have to worry about yourself. Want a two-door? No problem, you’ll never have to climb into the backseat anyway! And even if you have a partner, they will most likely be in the front, so screw your friends!
The monthly payments are part of a less complicated budget. The smart person would spend within their means, but even if you found your dream car, and the payment was a little higher than you had planned, you can simply cut back on a few dinners out, trips to the pub, and morning lattes at Starbucks. Right?
Safety? Eh, all cars are safe. Extra trunk space? Eh, we only need room for some beach chairs and a Costco run every couple weeks. Rear entertainment system? See above – we don’t sit in the back. Suv? It just eats up more gas! (Unless you transport lots of plants or have animals, in which case I can see the purpose).
After Kids:
Every part of the car buying process is now impacted by the needy, whiny, tired, hungry, thing, capable of transforming into the devil at a moment’s notice.
Your research can only occur after the kid is asleep, which is also the time that you try to squeeze in a TV show, clean up the destruction in the living room, catch up on unfinished work from the day, and wash the endless pile of dishes. But even when you are researching, your needs are much different than before. You now realize the value of extra seating and more cargo space to compensate for the omnipresent car seat and stroller.
Budgeting is different, because you have to factor in day care, which is basically the same cost as the monthly payment on a new Tesla. Add in the mortgage, school loans, and all the Amazon crap you now buy because of your offspring, and the car options become more limited.
I think one of the most stressful parts of this process with a kid was going to the dealerships. Not only did we have to take two separate test drives, but there was constant worry about when the kid was going to nap, eat, or lose their shit, such that we wanted to get in and out as fast as possible. I’m not suggesting that anyone wants to linger at a car dealership longer than they need to, but I almost erred on the side of asking less questions, just to speed things up.
Once we finally negotiated everything with our kid wandering the showroom, climbing on and off our laps, trying to watch Elmo, and nearly deleting all our apps multiple times, we still had to do all the paperwork. And while the amount doesn’t even compare to purchasing a home, it’s still more than any human wants to deal with on a Sunday morning with a bored and tired toddler.
I’m proud that we were in a position to purchase a new car, but I’m super glad we only have to go through this process every 10 years.
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