30 dad lessons to daughter birthday

30 Lessons for My Daughter

When I started a list of common sense “lessons” that I wanted to instill in my daughter, I promised that I would write the more sentimental version, this is that version.

Sometimes I wish I kept track of everything I’ve learned over the years. Some things would be poignant and others pretty useless, but they have all shaped me into the father, husband, and son I am today.

I turned 30 yesterday, so in no particular order, here are 30 things I want to teach my daughter (and any future child for that matter):

  1. How to change a tire – Just one of the many things that will make you a more self-sufficient woman. Plus it’s faster than waiting for AAA.
  2. It’s OK to say “No” – This doesn’t apply when we ask you to eat your veggies. But if you are ever uncomfortable or scared, please say “No” – to us or anyone else. You have that right.
  3. Treat others the way you want to be treated – The world is a cruel place and everyone will not be as considerate as you will (right?!), so do your part.
  4. Advocate for yourself – If you don’t, nobody else will. There will be battles that we can’t or won’t fight for you, so learn how to fight for yourself.
  5. Don’t rely on others for your happiness. Similarly, do not let yourself be defined by another person – You do not need anyone to complete you, complete yourself (regardless of what Jerry McGuire says).
  6. Nerds are cool – Your mom and I were both nerds. Heck, I still am. Never stop learning because nerds make the world a better place.
  7. Please and Thank You go a long way – Enough said (see #3).
  8. Be aware of your surroundings – You are not the center of the universe. Realize there are others just like you, so don’t think you are too special. Just as important, if you ever feel unsafe, then leave, or call us, or call a friend; do not put yourself in danger for anyone.
  9. Learn to cook – Your mother is a fantastic cook and she made me a decent one. Remember that microwaving Top Ramen is not cooking (plus, that stuff is horrible for you).
  10. Ride a bike – This is fun and a “skill” you will never forget. And once you learn, I can post a video on Facebook.
  11. Address a letter – By the time you read this, stamps will cost $1 (they cost $0.49 right now), but your Mama will make sure that you send people “Thank You” notes, so you better know how to get it to them.
  12. Love who you want – Men, women, nobody, anyone, whatever you choose. Your mother and I will welcome them into our family like one of our own.
  13. Embrace your biraciality – You are not 50% latino and 50% white. You are 100% of both and you do not need to choose.
  14. You are a strong woman – We will do our best to raise you as a confident person. Show others you are strong and never back down.
  15. We will always love you – Please never forget this. We may get disappointed in you, but we will always love you (even when you screw up). Always.
  16. Trust your instincts – They are usually right (see #8).
  17. It’s OK to fail – Some will say failure is never an option. But failing at anything is sometimes the best way to learn. You will fall and you will get back up. And when you fall, remember #15.
  18. Trust the process – You should have goals and aspirations, but do not be so fixated on the product that you ignore the process. The things you learn, people you meet, and experiences you have while pursuing your goals will be some of the best lessons and memories you will ever have.
  19. Find someone that makes you a better person – I found your mother. She has taught me things about myself that I might never have realized, and constantly reminds me how to be a better man, husband, and father. You deserve the same in a friend or partner.
  20. Learn how to manage your finances – Figuring out your needs and wants is incredibly important and many of your friends will never figure this out. Don’t be one of the foolish ones who struggles with debt and financial insecurity.
  21. Love yourself – “You is smart, you is kind, you is important.” Believe in yourself and others will believe in you. Embrace and love your body, it is the most amazing thing you will ever own.
  22. Honesty is the best policy – Trust me, I’ve learned the hard way. Tell the truth, no matter how uncomfortable it makes you.
  23. Learn to listen – It might seem easy, but active listening is hard, and most people are not good at it (even me). People will appreciate your undivided attention and you just might learn something.
  24. Be a leader and a follower – I am optimistic that we will give you the confidence to lead, but also know when to follow. You don’t always have to be at the center and can contribute effectively from the sideline.
  25. Life does not have to be perfect to be wonderful – There will be times when you think your life can’t get any tougher, but keep everything in perspective because shit could always be worse.
  26. Don’t play oppression olympics – Be known for your positive attitude, not as the constant complainer. Your situation is no different than the next person’s.
  27. Life isn’t about finding yourself, life is about creating yourself.  If you want something, go after it – Taking risks is often the best way to learn, and I regret not taking enough and challenging myself. Sometimes you need to stop thinking about it and just…jump.
  28. Don’t hate what you don’t understand – Take the time to learn and appreciate things before you judge them. You’ll be amazed what can happen when you open yourself to new ideas and experiences.
  29. The easiest way to suffer in life is to hold onto things.  Buddha would advise you to just let it go! – Grudges will only hold you back. Learn to forgive, but feel comfortable remembering. Life is not permanent and accepting change will make you free.
  30. To whom much is given, much is expected – We will do our best as parents to give you whatever you need, whenever you need it. As you go through life, do your job by appreciating what you have and acting like the strong, kind, and responsible daughter we raised.

BONUS: Stanford and USC are the enemy. Shout it from the rooftops, but always remember #8.

What did I miss? Tell me in the comments below!


Comments

4 responses to “30 Lessons for My Daughter”

  1. Thank you sir.

  2. RJ Licata Avatar
    RJ Licata

    Good stuff, Seth. This is a post all parents would benefit from reading.

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