I freaked out and my wife didn’t care…but I am thankful

Photo by Evelyn Molina

I had my first freak-out as a new dad the other day. Isabel had just finished eating and hadn’t really slept all day. I was going to “encourage” her to nap and Mrs. FortyWeeks was going to go on a much needed grocery run. I started doing the usual things – rocking, swaying, bouncing, etc. – and Mrs. FortyWeeks left.

The freak-out had nothing to do with Mrs. FortyWeeks being gone; I am totally comfortable being alone with our daughter. And it wasn’t the incessant crying-turned-screaming, as we went through this for several weeks after we brought her home, so my skin had thickened a bit.

Something was different this time. Nothing in my arsenal of tricks was working. And since she had just eaten, I didn’t even think to give her a bottle.

Mrs. FortyWeeks was checking in to see if she had fallen asleep yet and I really didn’t want to alarm her, so I just said she was having a hard time. So she suggested the Ergo. Mind you, Isabel is small for her age, this was my second time wearing it, and I couldn’t figure out the infant insert. Were her legs or butt supposed to sit on the pillow? How were her legs supposed to be positioned? Was I going to squish them? Was she going to be uncomfortable? All these questions were running through my mind and all I heard were blood curdling screams. That is when I freaked out, grabbed a pair of pants sitting on the bed and screamed into them.

I eventually got her into the Ergo and we both passed out on the couch. This lasted about 20 minutes when she woke up hot, sweaty, and screaming.

Mrs. FortyWeeks walked in the door and could tell I was freaking out, and she didn’t care. That isn’t fair, of course she cared, but she definitely wasn’t as sympathetic as I had expected. She basically said, “Welcome to my world. Figure it out.” And that is what I am thankful for.

I am thankful that she wasn’t sympathetic. I am thankful she reminded me that Isabel is still a baby, and even though she ate a half hour ago, she might actually still be hungry, and this is nothing abnormal. I am thankful that my freak-out did not freak her out. And I am thankful that even though I was clearly uncomfortable, she was OK with it.

But I am most thankful  for what she said, “You’re good with her, she’s good with you, and sometimes this just happens.”