DYJ: Common Sense Edition

Eventually I will write a post and list the qualities I want my child to have and the values I hope to instill in them, and it will be really sweet and sentimental (like this post). But this isn’t that post.

I come into contact with lots of people (old and young), either directly or indirectly. I handle all the customer service for my company so I email tons of folks and talk to many on the phone. I take public transportation 2 hours a day, so you can imagine the wonderful people I tolerate on a daily basis. And then there is the inevitable trip to ___________ (insert any grocery store, big-box retailer, shopping center, etc.) on the weekends.

Thus, I have compiled a running list of common sense related qualities/skills that I will do my hardest to ingrain in the cerebral cortex of my offspring so that she can do her job as a model citizen. It is astonishing how many adults fail to simply comply with these simple rules. Please feel free to contribute in the comments below.

In no particular order…

• NEVER TYPE IN ALL CAPS – I doubt you are really yelling in your communication. And if you are, well, CTFD.
• Do not sit on heavily used stairs in any public place – Don’t be in other people’s way. Unless your leg is broken, you are too young to be sitting while you wait a few minutes.
• sokrgurl13@gmail.com is not your name – Whenever you contact someone via email (ie. customer service, your teachers, an employer etc.), always give them your actual name, otherwise you are wasting the recipient’s time and finger strokes having to reply just to ask what your name is. It took your mother and I forty weeks to pick it, so use it.
• No voicemail speed-talking – Your goal when leaving a message is for the person to call you back, so don’t say your phone number like the Micro Machine guy. Either repeat it a couple times at normal speed or once…veeeeeerrrrrrry…slow…and…deliberate.
• Please and Thank You go a long way – Enough said.
• Your resume is not a novel – I can’t tell you how many resumes I’ve seen that are multiple pages with fancy fonts and pictures. Keep it short, simple, and to the point. You are trying to get hired, not make a new Facebook friend.
• Be aware of your surroundings – You are not the center of the universe. If you are going to stop walking in the middle of the aisle at Costco, move to the side. If you are anywhere with eight of your friends/family in the same aisle and nobody can get around you, move to the side. If you are going to walk really slow and look at your phone, move to the side. Get it?
• You are not the center of the universe – Please, do. not. do. this. anywhere. I will not claim you as my own if you are this rude.
• Car accidents are not movies – Don’t stare at them as you drive-by. Keep your eyes pointing forward. Your “quick” glance, plus everyone else’s “quick” glance, is what causes the backup three miles long.
• Hold the door – That person walking behind you as you approach as door is probably also going inside. Hold the door for them. It really isn’t that hard and makes you look like a polite person, not an selfish teen. Oh, and if the door is held for you, just say “Thank you.”